Chuck. Norris.

Dear Chuck Norris,

So I hear you have a grizzly bear rug in your room… the bear’s not dead though, he’s just afraid to move.

I felt compelled to start this letter one of my favorite Chuck Norris jokes. I wasn’t sure if you actually endorse Chuck Norris jokes but I see that you have one on the front page of your website.   Have you noticed how similar Chuck Norris jokes are to “the most interesting man in the world” commercials? I think maybe you got ripped off and need to go totally “Chuck Norris” on Jonathan Goldsmith.

So I see you like to write letters as well. You wrote a letter to Barack Obama after he won the Presidential Election in 2008 with some gentle suggestions. Six years into his presidency, how do you think he’s doing? Has he “lead from the center” and “learned from the mistakes of his Democratic predecessors”? I would guess you aren’t so pleased with his tenure as POTUS and I don’t think I even need to ask you about your stance on the Affordable Healthcare Act….

I went to a gun show in Dallas recently and you wouldn’t believe the blame and hatred people assign to our President. Or maybe you would. I know you are a staunch supporter of the 2nd Amendment and you live in Dallas. But why do you need a gun when your hands are already a lethal weapons?

One more Chuck Norris joke before I go: Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death, he beat it fair and square.

Thanks for your time,

Hayden

PS: DUDE. You’re 73 years old?!

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