Dear David Athens,
There are lots of saying here in Texas: “The stars at night are big and bright”, ” You can all go to Hell, I’m going to Texas”, “Down in the West Texas town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican girl”. I could go on for longer than it takes to drive across this fine State, but there is one saying we hold above all others.
REMEMBER THE ALAMO
Do you remember the Alamo, David? Do you remember urinating on it after a wild night out in San Antonio (a nearly impossible feat in of itself). Well the court has sentenced you to 18 months in jail which should be ample time to recall that fateful night in Ole San Antone. I bet you’ll to never urinate in public again. Heck it would make me think twice about urinating ever again period.
So while you are sharing a shower with thieves, murderers, and rapists, make sure you let them know you give zero fucks about pissing on anything and anyone. That might give you enough cred to make it.
Good Luck and remember DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS
PS: Maybe you’ll be Governor Rick Perry’s 222nd pardon. He has a history of pardoning totally useless criminals convictions.