Dear Lil Boosie,
Now that you’re out of jail, I can’t scribble “Free Boosie” in bathrooms anymore. It just doesn’t have the same effect as before. This is a problem for me. I need somebody else, preferably a rapper, to petition for their freedom. And by petition, I mean write it on a bathroom wall. Do you have any suggestions for dudes who might need a bathroom grass-roots campaign manager? I can guarantee at least 100+ views per night, building awareness in specifically targeted areas of the city. All campaign decisions are based on a qualitative study of local demographics and an in-depth understanding of local trending Twitter topics.
If you were as legit as Mac Dre, you might have recorded an entire album through the phone from prison. So now that you’re out of jail, it’s time to get back in the studio and lay down some tracks. Turn the trap up and just get after it please. We’ve been waiting.