Dear Johnny Manziel,
Yesterday was your big day (though not as big as you had hoped). No more amateur status for you man, you got drafted 22nd overall by the Cleveland Browns! How stoked are you to move to Cleveland? Of course I’ve never been there (why would I) but hear that it’s just as cold as Chicago and almost as destitute as Detroit. Plus it’s home to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! You can go after games and stuff. Maybe hit up Lebron and ask where all the hot-spots are in the city. If it was good enough for his first 7 years in the NBA, it should be plenty good enough for you.
So did you really think (hope) that the Cowboys were going to draft you? We just signed Brandon Weeden as our back-up so that would have put you third on the depth chart. I don’t see you riding the bench well, especially behind two guys. Johnny Football is a QB 1. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind seeing you succeed. You are a Texan after all. Yet at the same time, if you fail miserably I will be equally as pleased.
Stay warm up there! You should watch this before you go:
PS: Hook em’