Dear Michael Arthur,
I’m Jewish and I like bagels. No surprise there. The real shocker is that I don’t have a taste for Lox and it brings shame to my family name. I hear it’s a taste you develop over time, but I’m starting to get worried. I fear that I will never achieve my full Jewish potential without it and that the Bernstein tradition of smelling like salmon on Sunday’s might end with me. You’re probably not a rabbi, but I was hoping I could turn to you for help.
Where did I go wrong and how can I make it up to my family? Do you think they will ever forgive me?
I appreciate your help. Thank you.